


The New Normal

by Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar)



Series: Imagine Tony & Bucky [60]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Recovering, Friends to Lovers, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Tony Stark, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) Feels, M/M, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, tony makes it better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-15
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-20 23:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4805849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaqen_hgar/pseuds/Finely%20Honed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <span class="small">Prompt: Imagine wintersoldier!Bucky evading Steve’s searching for him and coming to the tower and getting into Tony’s workshop because he requires maintenance....</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“Fix it.”</p><p>Tony blinked into the semi-darkness, his heart kindly reminding him of how alive he was by attempting to punch straight through his ribcage in response to the soft, raspy voice. He knew it was fear and adrenaline, but stupidly instead of making a run for it Tony just stood there and thought of cartoons. His imagination had conjured up a visualization of his heart stretching out through his shirt and pounding away in the air all <em>va-va-voom,</em> as if he’d been struck with Cupid’s arrow.</p><p>“Sorry, I’m strictly appointment only.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The New Normal

**Author's Note:**

> **Full prompt:** Imagine wintersoldier!Bucky evading Steve’s searching for him and coming to the tower and getting into Tony’s workshop. Tony arrives and finds a dead-eyed assassin on his sofa and is kinda worried about dying down here, but Bucky just looks at him and holds out his metal arm and tells him he requires maintenance. So Tony gives him a hand and fixes the arm and Bucky leaves and Tony thinks that’s the end of it. But a couple of weeks later, Bucky’s back needing maintenance again, and Tony talks away to him, gossips and makes jokes and whatever, but when he mentions Steve, Bucky ups and leaves. A week later, he’s back though, and they carry on, and slowly Bucky comes out of his shell and lets Tony help him shave and uses his shower and so on, and eventually Bucky is spending every other night on Tony’s couch (because he never leaves the workshop if he can help it) and Tony is spending all his time down there with him. And then Steve comes down to the workshop with lunch for two, intending to make sure that Tony eats and gets some social interaction in this week, and finds the two of them snogging on the sofa, and kinda just laughs and is relieved that they’re both okay – better than.

“Fix it.”

Tony blinked into the semi-darkness, his heart kindly reminding him of how alive he was by attempting to punch straight through his ribcage in response to the soft, raspy voice. He knew it was fear and adrenaline, but instead of making a run for it Tony stood there and thought of cartoons. His imagination had conjured up a visualization of his heart stretching out through his shirt and pounding away in the air all  _va-va-voom,_  as if he’d been struck with Cupid’s arrow.

“Sorry, I’m strictly appointment only.”

He was kind of proud of how casual the retort sounded, and that his hands actually stayed steady as he finished his drink. Honestly, his mind was racing, because the Tower was pretty tricked out as far as security went; the Winter Soldier shouldn’t be able to sashay in and make himself at home. Especially not in the workshop.

Okay, sure, he was a highly trained super assassin. Tony was willing to bet that Fury would concede that a determined Winter Soldier could make his way past even the best of security measures, but that didn’t make Tony feel any better about the situation. He was going to die in his workshop, alone, and it would be a couple days probably before anyone found him.

Pepper had been keeping her distance since the breakup. Happy was in Malibu with her, so there was that. Rhodey was overseas. JARVIS was… gone. Traffic at the Tower had taken a significant dip since Ultron’s tantrum, Cap and the rest off training and enjoying their new digs. Worse yet, the best thing to come out of the Avengers Initiative—his friendship with Bruce—was on hiatus until he decided to get back on the radar.

Basically, what it boiled down to was that Tony had an epiphany. Bucky Barnes could actually kill him in the next ten seconds, and it really, legitimately could be ages before anyone noticed or found his body, and then… would anyone even care?

“Fuck. That’s depressing.”

The figure on the sofa shifted and Tony tensed until he realized the Winter Soldier was only raising his arm. “I require maintenance.”

Tony raised the lights, finally getting a good look at what he was dealing with, and lo and behold. “Holy shit, you’re not kidding. What’d you do to this?”

Beads of sweat were standing out on pale, sallow skin, and Tony hated to think of the amount of pain that Barnes must have been in. The arm was twisted and buckled in a way that made his stomach clench painfully, his liquid dinner threatening to make a reappearance.

“They… I can’t go back.”

“I can sympathize,” Tony said, waving away any other explanations. “I had a forcible vacation once. Nowhere near as long and exotic as your own, but I still get not wanting to go back.”

Tony worked in silence, mostly because a couple minutes in Barnes passed out, and honestly, he was uninterested in waking him up. If the dark circles under the guy’s eyes were any indication he needed the rest, even if it was a pain induced blackout. That didn’t really explain why he went and grabbed some clean clothes, bottled waters, and a couple sandwiches. Or why he sat there and watched Barnes sleeping, only to fall asleep himself.

When he opened his eyes again, everything was back to normal. Tony was alone.

+

Tony had mistakenly come to the conclusion that it was a one off. In retrospect, he wasn’t sure  _why_  he thought that’d be the case, but it was what he’d used to convince himself not to mention anything to anyone about Barnes’s late night visit. Steve would only ask a thousand questions, face tight with sadness, jaw set with disappointment when he found out Tony had been too drunk to think to send off an alert, or to pay much attention to anything. Or, worse, he wouldn’t even come himself, would send Sam instead. Better not to say anything at all.

So, of course, right when he’d managed to forget it had even happened, that was when Tony walked into his workshop and found Barnes back on his couch.

“Let me guess,” Tony drawled, stupidly pleased to see Bucky was still wearing the donated Iron Maiden t-shirt, “you require maintenance?”

Barnes actually looked  _ashamed_. It made Tony squirm to see that look there on the tired face, because he knew the other side of that expression all too well. It was the awful, “I fucked up and I need help, but I don’t think I deserve it, and now I have to be vulnerable around someone, so maybe I should run away and die instead, because that’s a hell of a lot easier,” feeling. He might have experienced that once or twice.

“Are you in pain?” Tony asked, firing up the diagnostic programs he’d designed the last time Barnes had dropped by.

“No.”

Barnes’s voice was out of step with his imposing appearance. There was an edge of gratitude in there, a bit of an apology. Tony liked the sound of it, but he’d also made a point of not talking to anyone over the last week, so maybe it was hearing any human speaking to him again that was nice.

“Hungry? We can eat while I work.”

Which was how they wound up spending a good hour upstairs in Tony’s kitchen before even getting around to the repairs. Barnes was quiet and twitchy, but seemed more like a guy down on his luck than a killing machine, which was a relief. He ate the soup and grilled cheese Tony whipped up as if it was the best thing he’d ever had, so Tony made him seconds before they headed back down.

Tony ran his mouth the whole time. He couldn’t help it. The constantly talking thing seemed less rich crazy guy back when he’d had JARVIS to answer him, which was why Tony kept telling himself he needed to install a new AI. Of course, right around when he started having those thoughts was when he tended to make a detour for the bar, pour himself a round instead. The idea of replacing JARVIS was nauseating.

Talking to Barnes was a hell of a lot different than talking to JARVIS. Barnes acted like he didn’t understand half of what Tony yammered on about, but it didn’t bother him the way it would have Steve. No world weary sighs or pointed stares. It had taken ages before Steve realized Tony didn’t know how to speak without using pop culture or scientific references; he wasn’t trying to make Cap feel out of place, it was an unfortunate side effect. They’d gotten over it, but it had taken some work.

Barnes didn’t seem to care one way or the other. He didn’t bother to interject and ask for clarification, he only stared at Tony, or at the work being done on his arm, or at nothing in particular. Every once in awhile he’d grunt, or give a terse ‘yes’ or ‘no’ response, but otherwise his contribution to the conversation was zilch.

Oh a whim, Tony decided to switch topics, see if he could get a response.

“You do know Steve doesn’t live here, right?” Immediately, Bucky tensed up. “I mean, not by my choice—there’s a super secret Avengers compound now.”

“Thanks for the arm,” Bucky muttered, almost too soft for Tony to make out. He was up on his feet, shrugging back into his jacket, jaw tight. That was a response, alright, but not the one Tony had hoped for or expected.

“Hey, did you need…”

But Barnes was gone in the blink of an eye.

“Note to self. Don’t mention Steve.”

+

Barnes was back within the week and the damage to his arm was negligible at best. Tony was willing to bet that explained the strange vibes Barnes was giving off, like he was sitting there waiting for Tony to call bullshit on the whole thing and kick him out. Tony definitely had no intention of doing that.

“I made you a key,” Tony announced, tossing it into Bucky’s lap. “Not sure how you’re getting in now, but this’ll work on any of the other entrances, including my private elevator. You can just chill wherever, by the way, you don’t have to wait down here for me to find you.”

Barnes traced the keycard with his fingers—the flesh and blood ones—and bit into his lower lip, looking a bit like he was going to cry. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Actually, I was thinking, maybe later on down the line, if you’re cool with it, you can let me know how you’ve been getting in and out of here. We could start a whole side business doing consulting. People would pay big bucks to have a Winter Soldier proof facility.”

“M’not the Winter Soldier.”

Tony didn’t get much of anywhere conversationally after that, but Barnes took the key with him when he left, so it wasn’t entirely a lost cause.

+

Even though he’d set the whole thing in motion, Tony still wasn’t sure how they got from Barnes quietly haunting his workshop to the two of them sitting shoulder to shoulder on his couch watching sci-fi classics and destroying a carton of ice cream. It was nice, though, so he wasn’t going to question it too much.

Bucky liked the workshop, so they spent most of their time down there. Tony wasn’t too broken up about the arrangement. It was his favorite place in the Tower, even with the painful memories of JARVIS tied up in the place. Bucky helped make it feel alive again in a way it hadn’t since before Ultron.

Tony wanted to offer him a room in the Tower, but he still wasn’t sure why it was Barnes kept coming back, so didn’t. Instead, he offered Bucky free use of the facilities, kept one of the empty rooms loaded with clean clothes in Barnes’s size, the adjoining bathroom stocked with everything he’d need to shower and shave, and eventually they get to the point where Bucky did those necessary self maintenance tasks without a whole awkward song and dance routine beforehand.

As a result, he looked and smelled significantly better. Some of the wild uncertainty had left his eyes, only making a reappearance in the wee hours, when they crept up on that inevitable moment of parting.

“Guess I ought to go.”

“Or you could stay,” Tony countered one evening. “I’m not tired yet. Was thinking of putting on some shitty reality TV, which is only tolerable if you have someone to make fun of it with.”

The idea of silence creeping back in after Bucky’s departure left Tony’s chest aching. The strange thing was, Bucky looked like he wanted to say yes, but was scared of what it would mean. That was the only reason Tony felt brave enough to follow up his offer with a soft, pathetic, “Please?”

“Okay.”

Tony caught the look of amazed gratitude before Bucky ducked his head and didn’t bother trying to hide his own smile.

+

The first time he heard Bucky’s laugh, Tony finally understood what it was he’d gone and done. He was really good at denial though, so he shoved the knowledge aside, told himself it was lack of sleep and all around loneliness messing with his heart.

But it was there, in the back of his mind, and kept rearing its ugly head as Bucky began opening up to him. Each memory Bucky uncovered he shared—the good and the bad alike—and Tony felt privileged to celebrate with him or mourn with him. He got to hear random war stories about his father, about Steve and the Howling Commandos, and hung on every word. Sometimes Bucky didn’t have all the details, could only describe a memory of a feeling, but Tony counted those as victories, as well.

The more time they spent together, the more Tony struggled not to take Bucky’s hand, or pull him into a hug. Every day he fought his traitorous hands, which seemed to be forever reaching for Bucky, as if he had any right to touch. While he could let himself believe Bucky would consider him a friend, Tony wasn’t about to hope for anything more than that little miracle.

Which was probably why it caught him completely by surprise when—as he was in the middle of unattractively snort-laughing at the TV—Bucky leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. Tony sucked in a breath, eyes going wide, his heart doing that cartoon hammering again while Bucky went all wide-eyed and scared on him.

“Don’t say sorry,” Tony blurted at the same time Bucky gasped, “Shit, I’m sorry!”

They stared at each other for a beat, but Tony was too selfish to let the opportunity slip through his fingers. The idea of Barnes thinking he was uninterested and disappearing on him was more terrifying than putting himself out there and being rejected.

“Oh,” Bucky exhaled, his eyes even wider as Tony kissed him back. It was chaste, only a quick press of lips to the corner of Bucky’s mouth, but there was no mistaking the open acceptance of Bucky’s affectionate gesture.

After that, he stopped fighting himself. When he wanted to touch Bucky, he did, always friendly, companionable, and comforting gestures of intimacy. Bucky let it stay that way for a couple days, but then pushed them past some unseen line in the sand by yanking Tony into his arms while they were in the middle of debating whether the Terminator would win in a fight against the Predator.

“You know I’m right,” Tony swore, smiling against Bucky’s chest.

“I know nothing of the sort.”

Bucky’s voice rumbled beneath Tony’s ear, while fingers carded through his hair. That night he didn’t bother with the pretense of offering to leave. Bucky held onto Tony until they both drifted off on the couch.

When Tony opened his eyes again, Bucky was still there. Tony could only struggle against the surge of happiness, terrified to hope that this could become the new normal for him.

+

Without a doubt, he was hiding from the rest of his life, but Tony couldn’t bring himself to care. Bucky had more or less moved in with him, and he absolutely had no excuse left for not telling Sam and Steve that he’d found the man they’d been looking for. It loomed in the back of his mind, which in turn made him send Steve’s calls to voicemail, and ditch offers of reconnecting with the other Avengers. One look at him and Natasha would know something was up.

He was happy, but it was an increasingly desperate sort of happiness, as if Tony could see the end of the road up ahead, but couldn’t bring himself to pull over. Bucky had gotten to the point where he could sleep through the night without waking them both with nightmares. His smiles came easier, weren’t the same ghostlike smiles, but big ones that showed off his teeth and make his eyes sparkle.

Tony knew how it worked. Bucky was getting better, which meant it was only a matter of time before he stopped needing the likes of Tony Stark for anything. He’d take a trip upstate, catch Steve by surprise, Cap would do his thing, and before you could so much as say Star Spangled Banner, Bucky would be an Avenger.

Which meant Tony would be alone. Again. His first instinct was to begin pushing Barnes away, more or less shove him out of the nest in order to show him he could fly, but selfishness won out. Tony held on tighter, spent as much of his time with Bucky as possible, as if he could stockpile the feelings and sensations for when he was left with nothing again.

If it was only that he was lonely, it would have been one thing, but Bucky was amazing, and admirable, and now that his personality was resurfacing Tony could only imagine the handful he used to be. The truth was that Pepper, Rhodey, Bruce, and all the Avengers could move in, and Tony would still feel achingly alone if Bucky wasn’t around.

“You look tense.” Tony sighed, let his head rock back against Bucky’s stomach as strong fingers began kneading his shoulders, forcing the tension to dissipate. “What’s wrong?”

Normally he would lie and say it was nothing, but Tony had some sort of problem with his mouth and being emotionally honest and vulnerable around Barnes. He kept doing it, as if he was one of those adrenaline junkies addicted to high risk sports.

“Pretty soon you’re going to realize you should be spending time with Steve instead of me.”

Bucky’s fingers stopped their massage, the body behind him tensing in response to the words. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” Tony answered honestly, turning to look up at Bucky. “I don’t want you to ever leave. That’s the problem.”

This time when Bucky kissed him, it wasn’t a peck on the cheek, or a quick press of lips to his temple. Tony found himself pulled half up out of his seat, so he had to grab hold of Bucky’s shoulders to steady himself as their lips met. He lost track of reality for a handful of minutes, too shocked and amazed by what was happening to care how they got over to the couch.

Bucky kissed as if he was doing reconnaissance, so Tony wasn’t surprised in the least that their makeout sessions leave him panting and aching with want. Tongues and teeth, tender and rough. They kiss for hours, rocking against each other, touches growing braver, more insistent. They talk softly, sometimes laughing, and although he feels a bit like he’s going to die from frustration, Tony doesn’t care that the makeout phase goes on painfully long.

As had been the case over and over, Bucky was the one to push them past their boundaries, so that one night he blindsides Tony, leaves him gasping and pleading while cool metallic fingers stroke him to completion.

After that, everything went deliciously, magnificently downhill.

+

Tony could only count himself lucky that when Steve finally decided to show up in person that he and Bucky were fully dressed and no one was sucking or stroking anything. They’d gotten that out of their system right after waking up and were only kissing for the sake of kissing, curled together on the couch, waiting for their coffee to cool down enough to drink.

“Bucky?”

Just like that, reality caught up with them. Bucky detangled himself and Tony had to imagine Steve didn’t know what to make of the identical guilty expressions he was now faced with.

“Hey, Cap. What brings you by?”

“You’ve been avoiding my calls,” Steve answered, eyes narrowed. Bucky had an arm around Tony’s shoulders, had his jaw set all stubbornly. “And  _you_  dropped off the radar entirely.”

Bucky smirked. “Got distracted.”

Tony waited for the tirade, but to his surprise, Steve laughed. Not  _at_ them, but more like with them, a genuinely amused, happy little laugh. “Always were a sucker for a pretty face. You guys are okay then?”

“Doing real good,” Bucky answered. “Tony put me back together again.”

Steve smiled. “Yeah, he’s pretty good at that. Not so much at taking care of himself, though.”

“Wait.” Tony blinked, reading in Steve’s eyes what had been left unsaid. “You were coming to check up on me?”

“Yeah, Tony,” Steve said, holding up the bag of food he’d brought along. His face seemed to say, “we’re friends, remember?” and Tony felt like a douchebag for all the unanswered phone calls.

“Burgers?” Bucky asked, pressing another kiss against Tony’s mouth before he got up and started clearing off space for Steve to set down the food.

“Yup. I can go though, if you two—”

“Pull up a seat,” Tony insisted. “What’s new in Avengers-ville?”

It was surreal as far as lunches went, mostly because Steve and Bucky acted like everything was normal. Bucky kept a hand on Tony, or an arm around him the entire time, even while eating, and Tony couldn’t even pretend not to love it. He also enjoyed the hug goodbye and quiet, “Thank you,” whispered against his ear when it came time for Steve to head back home.

“So, guess I can find you here?”

Bucky smiled, gave a little nod. “Yup. I’m not going anywhere.”

Tony could only hold on to his hand and smile as his heart pounded away happily in his chest. If this was what normal was going to be from now on, then he  _loved_  normal.

**Author's Note:**

> Awww, Tony, Steve loves you! BASK IN THE GLOW OF FRIENDSHIP.
> 
>  
> 
> You can find me on tumblr here: dezinformatsia.tumblr.com and all of my Imagine Tony & Bucky fills can be found here: imaginetonyandbucky.tumblr.com/tagged/dezinformatsia


End file.
